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I am going to start homeschooling my kids next week, and I have no idea what I'm doing.
Sure, I've done a ton of research and talked to veteran homeschooling moms who assured me that this will all work out great. I've heard the platitudes about how I know my kids best because they're my kids. I've even got a master's degree in teaching, and I am still freaking out.
But aside from needing a paper bag to breathe in every time I see the boxes filled with curriculum stacked up in the living room, I think it's okay. I think it might be good to freak out.
In the past, the times that I've failed the worst were the times when I felt like I had things all figured out. (Coloring my hair myself? Piece of cake.) So maybe by being honest about how totally scared I am, I’ll be preventing a huge disappointment. Crazy right? Hear me out.
If I went into this with the rigid assurance that I was completely prepared for this huge undertaking, and something went wrong, it would mean that I was wrong. And if I'm wrong about one part of homeschooling, maybe I'm wrong about all of it? And thus would begin the spiral of self-doubt and chocolate. This way, I'm going into homeschooling with the expectation that something will go wrong.
I fully expect to need more/different/better curriculum. What are the chances I just happen to order the perfect curriculum for my kids on the first try? I fully expect to revise our daily schedule at least twenty times. How could I possibly know what times of the day will be best for my kids to do school work at home when we've never done school work at home?
I fully expect to have several meltdowns a day (both mine and theirs). Meltdowns are nothing new for us. I'm sure adding "educate children" to my to-do list won't reduce the number of tears shed.
Basically, I'm going to look for the good and bad in what we're doing and change it as we go. Each day that passes feels like another click moving this roller coaster closer to the drop ahead. Yeah, I'm more than a little scared, but I'm going to keep my eyes wide open and maybe even raise my hands and laugh through the twists and turns ahead.
Halee is a former public school teacher who now has the joy of being a stay-at-home-mom to her four children. She is a pastor’s wife who is far from perfect but strives to be more like Christ each day. In her very limited free time, Halee likes reading, writing, and baking. You can follow her family’s adventures in vocational ministry on her blog at www.fishbowlfamily.com.